The Wedding Centre: Who Traditionally Pays for What Wedding Expenses?

Who Pays For What?

The first rule to keep in mind regarding who pays for which wedding expense is that rules were made to be broken! The following guidelines define the traditional distribution of costs, but a traditional distribution may not be suitable for your particular situation. For example, if the bride's parents are deceased, many times the groom's parents will offer to assume some or all of their expenses. Also, in cases of remarriage, particularly for the bride, the parents often limit their contributions, reasoning that they've already fulfilled their parental obligation by hosting one wedding.

What it comes down to is that you do what works. If the groom's parents want to help pay for more of the wedding costs, have them talk to the bride's parents! Most would welcome the help. One thing to note, however...those who pay for something often feel that they have purchased control of the buying decision as well. For example, many times parents who are paying for the wedding invitations insist on approval of the style and wording, regardless of the couple's preferences. Or the parents plan an elaborate, three-course sit down dinner when the couple would rather have a buffet.

You need to decide what's important to you as a couple, and go from there. If control is important to you, you may want to pay your own expenses, and make your own decisions. But as a starting point, here are how expenses have traditionally been divided up:

The Bride's Family The Bride The Groom's Family The Groom The Wedding Attendants

The bride's family usually pays for:
		A wedding gift for the couple
		The wedding invitations, other wedding stationery (e.g., save the date cards, response cards, church programs, napkins, announcements), and mailing costs
		Fees for the soloist, organist, other musicians, and/or sexton
		Rental costs for both the ceremony and reception sites
		Ceremony and reception flowers
		Reception food, liquor and other beverages, and gratuities for waitstaff
		The wedding cake
		The band or DJ for the reception
		All photography and videography (including engagement photos)
		Gratuities for those directing traffic as well as parking costs and coat-check fees
		Transportation for the bridal party to the ceremony and reception
		The bride's dress, headpiece, shoes, purse, and other accessories
		The clothing the bride will take on her honeymoon (the trousseau)
		Bouquets for the bridesmaids
		The rehearsal dinner (optional)
		A bridesmaids' luncheon or other party (optional)

The bride usually pays for:
		The groom's ring
		A gift for the groom
		Gifts for her maid/matron of honor and other female attendants
		Accommodations for geographically distant female attendants
		Her personal stationery
		Her physical examination/blood test (if required)
The groom's family usually pays for:
		A wedding gift for the couple
		Their personal travel costs and accommodations
		The clothing they will wear at the wedding
		The rehearsal dinner (optional)
		A bachelor's dinner (optional)
The groom usually pays for:
		The marriage license
		The bride's engagement and wedding rings
		A gift for the bride
		The bride's bouquet and going-away corsage
		Boutonnieres for the male attendants
		Corsages for the mothers and other relatives of the bride and groom
		Gloves, hats, ties or ascots for the men in the wedding party
		Gifts for his best man and other male attendants
		Accommodations for geographically distant male attendants
		The officiant's fee
		The honeymoon
		The wedding-night suite
		His physical examination/blood test (if required)
		A bachelor's dinner (optional)
The wedding attendants usually pay for:
		A wedding gift for the couple
		The clothing they will wear at the wedding
		Their personal travel costs and accommodations